


where the heart is

by scribblscrabbl



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Gen, once a red always a red, there is loyalty in football, this is not farewell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 18:04:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2238348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblscrabbl/pseuds/scribblscrabbl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It feels like the end of a long love affair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	where the heart is

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Там, где сердце](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5350748) by [Petro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petro/pseuds/Petro)



> A small tribute to Daniel Agger and his time at Liverpool. The club will never have a player quite like him. 100% fiction, although the dates are, more or less, accurate.

_12 January, 2006_

_How does it feel to be worth six million Euro?_

_He couldn’t care less. But he laughs and mutters something appropriately self-deprecating, something they want to hear. There’s only one number that concerns him—five—and he thinks he could be worth that._

He walks through the players’ tunnel one last time, touches the sign, for old times’ sake. As natural as breathing. He’d known it all along, ever since he stepped onto the pitch for the first time to the roaring of the Kop. That his roots were in Brøndby, but his heart would be in Liverpool, for better or for worse, because some things were out of his control. Some things, like falling in love, were just meant to happen. 

“Nothing like it in the world.”

He turns and sees Stevie behind him, arms crossed, smile a little injured.

“Preaching to the choir, mate.” 

Stevie closes the distance between them and they stand there shoulder-to-shoulder for a moment, breathing it all in like they’re ten years younger with everything going for them, nothing to lose.

“Won’t be the same without you.”

He opens his hands and studies his palms. “Players come and go. The club will always be the same. Liverpool was a dream for me, but all dreams end sooner or later.”

“Is that what you believe or what you want me to hear?” Stevie isn’t angry, not this time, but he never quits demanding the truth, and Dan decides he’s not about to deny his skipper this one last request.

“I’d bleed my heart dry for this club, you know I would. You know I have.”

Stevie rests a hand on his shoulder, warm, solid, and familiar, not so different from the feeling of home.

“It’s been a bloody privilege to play by your side, Daniel Agger.”

*

_26 August, 2006_

_His job is to defend, not to score, but the Kop doesn’t make it easy. The Kop, he learns, has a way of making a person feel invincible. A Greek hero with all the might and none of the tragedy. And in that moment he decides he can be whatever they want him to be._

When the news is out, Pepe is the first to call.

“I’m sorry,” Pepe says, even though he understands, more than most, that it’s an oversimplification.

“Whatever happens, we play the game. That’s what matters.” It’s not everything but it’s what he believes, and Pepe doesn’t push.

“Xabi says he’ll call you soon. Don’t be a stranger now that you’re up North.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “You say it like it’s another planet.”

“It’s not?” He can hear Pepe grinning and it’s still vaguely disorienting that he can’t walk the distance separating them.

There’s silence for a while, not uneasy but a little lonely.

“We have some good memories.”

“And no regrets.”

“No regrets,” Pepe agrees.

Xabi calls a few hours later.

“You’re breaking my heart, Daniel.” Only Xabi can say those words and still be taken seriously.

“The option of staying forever was never on the table.”

“Wouldn’t that be something, though?” Xabi rarely gives into wishful thinking, but Dan knows there are moments when the past still haunts him. “At least you’ll be home, somewhere familiar.”

“Yea, I’ve missed it. Sofie’s missed it. The boys—they’ll learn to like it there.” Mason’s still too young to understand, but Jamie’s been throwing tantrums, making his misery known at deafening volumes.

“Children adapt. Their hearts grow more easily to accommodate the world.” _More than ours_ , Xabi means to say. He’s gracefully evaded all the questions, but if Dan had to guess, then he’d say Xabi’s still searching for that magic he found with Stevie, because the beautiful game hasn’t been quite as beautiful without it. Because he’s afraid that if he stops he’ll be acknowledging the impossibility, and there’s no going forward after that.

“Good luck, Xabi. I’ll see you at the Kop.” 

*

_3 August, 2012_

_Loyalty is a scarce commodity in the world of football._

_The needle travels across his knuckle._

_Daniel Agger linked to Barcelona. Manchester City to make a bid for Agger._

_The pain is a pleasant buzz that quiets his head._

_He could be hoisting trophies, conquering the world._

_The ink sets with every oscillation. He’s always worn his heart on his sleeve. He thinks now is the time for people to notice._


End file.
